Random Me

good-bye

I've decided to get rid of this blog and move strictly to eli's blog and my other photo blog which will now be my main blog. So if you are here visiting - please visit me at my other blog - www.seeingtheextraordinary.blogspot.com

not gone - just moved!

Dale turns the big 4 - 0 !

eileen and the birthday boy...

candy and monica...

bethany and monica

the gang...

punk boy ryan...

a little self love...

5 things I love today...

1 - going to the movies with my little guy, munching on popcorn, and cuddling in the dark...

2 - knowing that life will go on and that I will survive...

3 - the across the universe soundtrack (totally obessed with this) - planning on seeing the movie early next week...

4 - listening to books on tape in the car ride to and from work - totally into The Manny right now...

5 - all my super fabulous girlfriends planning on coming to my party on Monday - can't wait to see you girls and sharing a glass of wine, something yummy, and a bit of gossip...

emerson and trent...

these little guys are growing like weeds...some favorites from this weekend!

the picture of emerson's future birthday invitation...

rock it out...

just love this one...

super cute...

trent - 2 months old...

Princess Carla Part 2...

the happy couple

star of the show...

how cute is that ham in the back...

carla, thea, dee...

carla and debbie...

Happy Birthday Princess Carla

the birthday princess...

these angels know how to party...

beautiful ladies...

shay and carla...

carla and jimmy

courage...

this is my word for right now...

the word courage means more to me than any other word at this very moment. the courage to be able to say another very specific word outloud without having to whisper it. to say it without being judged, the word I never thought I would hear uttered to me ever, the word I never thought I would say to describe my life at this very moment.

the word I'm still working up the courage to talk about because talking about it out loud will begin to allow me to heal. I don't know if I'm ready to heal yet - I don't think I can heal yet and each day I think that I can talk about it out loud - I can't - cannot say the word to people I know.

I am scared that is why courage is my word. Although I don't know if I'm ready yet -I know that I need to get to that place to begin to allow myself to heal. I need to have the courage to say the word out loud to anyone at anytime instead of hiding it.

this one little word is changing the entire course of my life. everything I thought I was, every moment I saw in my future, my whole world is being changed because of this one little word...

so right now my most important word is courage...

the courage to have the strength to say that word that hurts me more than anything else in this entire world, the word that makes me sick to my stomach, the word that knocks the wind out of me...

this word is divorce...

I found this quote below and thought it was extremely fitting for my life today so I needed to post it so I can look back and hopefully have the courage to talk about divorce out loud, with anyone, at anytime. sadly, it is what my life has become...

also hoping that anyone out there reading this blog will read this quote and have the courage to do something they find almost impossible...

It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power. -Alan Cohen